My Rant about those who have not read Harry Potter.

Call me Ishmael…umm nope.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness… yeah, not really.

Okay, we all know that I am no writer.  Aside from a creative writing class or two in college, I have absolutely no experience.  But I do have something very important to share and so I hope you will take the time to read what I have put down here and at least consider it before crumpling it all up and pitching it in the round file.

Here is my basic premise: Harry Potter saved my life.  I don’t mean the fictional character popped out of the book or anything, I’m not that in need of Prozac, but I do mean the incredible series of books that JK Rowling thoughtfully and graciously imagined on the back of that silly little napkin in that lackluster café on that fateful day.  I promised to tell you how they saved my life in a few paragraphs, but for now I want to address a growing problem I see in today’s society; people who have not read even one of these magnificent books.

This problem was brought to my attention several years ago when my cousin, who will read almost anything, refused, to my face, to even consider reading what I’m sure he called “silly little drivel” although I can’t be sure because it was a long time ago and my memory has been getting worse (proportionate to my kids age) but he has a lot of acumen and would probably say something like that.

Recently, like today I mean, the not reading Harry Potter (which we’ll call NRHP from now on) was again thrust into the forefront when my very good friend, who shall remain nameless, (just protecting your identity Ali) was seen on Facebook saying, “No, I didn't review the new Harry Potter movie -- by choice, thank you very much. I figure it will get plenty of coverage by more qualified people who have actually read the books and seen the previous films.”  Did I mention that my nameless friend was the Movie Critic for a major metropolitan newspaper (the UT) in San Diego?  Well, I was just crushed.

It’s not that I don’t understand the phenomenon, I myself almost refused to re-read Elie Wiesel’s incredible Holocaust story Night when in 2006 it was named an Oprah’s book club selection.  Who wants to read something that Oprah tells you to?  She’s a bit like my mother trying to force me to read Anne of Green Gables; it just feels right to refuse.  But here’s the deal, NRHP, refusing to immerse yourself in the cult phenomenon makes you the loser.

Let’s review some of the facts: 325 million (and climbing) copies of the first 6 books were sold around the world in more than 200 countries, published in 65 languages and Braille (the final book weighs 12 pounds). 8.3 MILLION copies of the final book sold in the US in the first 24 hours; I did the math, that’s a lot per minute.  And so far the movies have grossed 4.1 Billion (that’s with a B) dollars.  Just to compare, the GNP of most small countries is less than that.  I know because I looked at a chart.  If those numbers don’t compel you to try to get into “the know” and out of the NRHP rut, consider this: JK Rowling was knighted (in France).  Think about all the other incredibly gifted authors who have not been knighted in Great Britain including William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens and you’ll know ole’ JK is in good company.  And think about this: knockoff copies of the books including one called “Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-To-Dragon” are being sold in China for a fraction of the official bookstore price.  I mean, if they are being sold next to the Fake Louis V and Rolex’s?!?!

So here’s my point, reading these books is like going to the Red Lobster and ordering the all-you-can-eat shrimp and cheese biscuits.  You can cower in the corner booth hoping that someone doesn’t see you, but in the end you will have scampi butter drips on your chin and T-shirt and you’ll walk out of the place KNOWING that you just indulged in a true guilty pleasure. So for goodness sakes, barricade the house, crawl into bed, pull the covers over your head, and read about how this young wizard comes of age.  I promise you’ll love it.

As for how Harry Potter saved my life: I love to read.  I read every day.  When my Dad died, I couldn’t concentrate on a book.  I would stare and stare and not see anything.  My heart was broken because of my Dad and exacerbated by the fact that the one pleasure I knew I could always count on was slipping away.  Then I picked up the first Harry Potter book.  I was transported.  I was elated.  I was reading again.  And it was Harry Potter that brought me back.